My Apartment Complex: Living in Little Mexico

A Post By: Craig Sean

My apartment complex is one of those places that looks nice from the outside, but when you actually live in the place, it really sucks. When I decided to move here I had about two weeks notice from the day the decision was made to the day I moved into this apartment. I had the choice between about 2 apartment complexes, one was income restricted, kinda like the projects of Austin, and the other one is where I live now. I took a tour of the place. It seemed really nice, granite counter tops, nice hardwood floors, friendly people, pools, covered parking, everything you could ask for from an apartment complex was here. Well, soon after moving in/while we were moving in we realized the reality of this place. The truth is, we do not have hardwood floors….and its kind of sketchy. Most of the time its sketchy in the fact that its strange, not so much dangerous, but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard at least one gun shot.

The people here are what makes it uncomfortable. My actual apartment is nice enough (except the lack of hardwood floors). I’ll just give you one thing that really grinds my gears today, but don’t worry there are more rants to come.

I don’t want to publicly humiliate this complex so I’ll stick to calling it The Apple Orchard aka TAO like Club Tao in Vegas but a completely different crazy. TAO is home to several people with a ton of motorcylces. the man nearest to me has 3 in a garage. He is a large man who appears to be from south of the border (just trying to paint a picture not trying to stereotype).

I can tell he loves his bikes. He has all sorts of cleaning supplies in the garage and the bikes are always shiny. What I cannot tell you is why he doesn’t take the bikes out of the garage. His favorite thing to do is to start each one, rev it up enough so everyone can hear it. He does this to each bike several times over. oh yeah, he does this around 1 in the AM. usually I’ve just jumped in bed and had enough time to get comfortable, the comfortable where there is no way in hell you’re getting up, even if you realize you have to piss, that piss will wait until tomorrow or at least later that night when your dreaming of the perfect urinal, which turns out to be the bed…wait, what? This guy is out there reving his bikes, not riding them, and pissing me right off. I’m not going to do anything about it though. I’ll just lay in bed as my heart rate goes up with frustration.

I don’t know why he does this but I sure can speculate. With the crowd that resides here at TAO i could come up with a couple ideas. 1. he has his license suspended, which could have been due to a couple reasons. 1.B) license suspended due to a DUI…lets dive deeper into this one. I picture this DUI happening on a bike, maybe the 4th bike that he once had. He was riding home on the MO-PAC expressway doing about 15 mph over, nothing too extreme, in the far left lane, commonly known as the shoulder. He had a few drinks that night at the local cabaret of the adult nature.

This guy likely hit a blown out semi tire, since it is the shoulder, and lays down the bike as he hits the ground sliding. He finishes the slide sitting upright with his legs out straight in front of him (lucky for him hes tipsy and wouldn’t feel the pain until the next morning when he wakes up in the drunk tank). His bike, after an incident like this, likely isn’t ridable so he continues walking, only to be stopped by the po po. He denies being in the wreck or even owning the bike, but due to the way he was carrying himself, with a limp, and carrying a sleeve that was torn off his tattered leather jacket, the po became suspicious, gave him a “walk the line test” when the man asked the cop “what line?” thats really all the cop needed and the man was put into the drunk tank. Now the man can’t ride for a little bit because he doesn’t have a licence. Alright, second possible reason portrays him in a more favorable light. He might not have a helmet yet and couldn’t bare to think of his kids growing up without a dad. He gets on each bike, but then right as he is about to convince himself he won’t die tonight, he sees his kids. either way this guy knows how to grind my gears, and, honestly, I don’t care what his excuse is he needs to shut the fuck up.

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