Real Men Only Kill Healthy Animals

A Post By: Craig Sean

 What is a real man? Is it someone who’s male and is at least 40?

Or is it a male who’s 18 that can vote and join the military? Or is it a male that fights wounded opponents…with swords?

Mike gundy is clearly a man because hes 40, and I’m pretty sure if you serve in the military and you’re male you’re a real man, but fighting wounded opponents…I’m not convinced that makes you a man. What I’m talking about is bull fighting.

Yes, these bulls weigh more than I do, or any bullfighter. Unless this guy is fighting bulls…  

But the bulls are almost dead when they come stumbling in the ring. I know there are purists out there, but fuck this sport. I’m not one to go around demanding rights for animals, but this is stupid. either fight a healthy bull who also gets to wear stupid clothes, wield a sword and a cape, or just send it to the slaughter house. Maybe, if there were more bullfighters out there like this guy 

I would think more highly of the sport because you don’t know the outcome. When I see this gored Spanish bullfighter I get a couple thoughts. First, I think he’s stupid, then I think hes a terrible bullfighter…surely not a hero, because he got a horn through the face. In the bullfighting patrons mind this is a man among boys. When in reality he got his shit (actually his eye) tossed then came back and killed two bulls in another unfair fight. 

I’m going to throw around a couple ideas to modify this sport:

1.) see above…just fight a healthy bull

2.) fight the bull without weapons…just barehanded combat

3.) Gladiator matches: human vs human until one dies, then the winning fighter can get the ear of the loser, similar to bullfighting

3A. for those who argue this is murder, we could substitute a primate of some kind… possibly a chimp. That would be the ultimate cage match. I fought a monkey (a drunk one) and he kicked my ass, but I’m still here and I wouldn’t call myself a hero but that monkey got more than he bargained for. And imagine the recaps in the newspaper about these battles! 

4.) watch UFC

Oh and this is stupid too: “Padilla (the idiot that got gored) was awarded one ear for each of his two kills. The maximum accolade a matador can achieve is two ears and a tail for each bull slain.” Imagine all your childhood trophies being replaced with animal parts.

Maybe I’m the minority here, but I find it hard to picture this Padilla guy as a real man, or any bullfighter as manly. Yes, these guys fight massive animals; however, these massive animals can barely hold their heads up because they’ve already been stabbed with a bunch of sticks. By the time they stick the sword in the bulls back, the bull is already well on its way to being dead. It’s just kind of moping around. I’m pretty sure this bullfighter is a hero because the town just wants to party and needs a reason to do it, so why not celebrate this guy who just won an ear.


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