Entitledus Rudeus: NYC Discovers A New Frog Species

A Post By: Michael Gallo

Last week, a new species of frog was discovered to be living in NYC, right under the noses of about 10 million people.

Even more surprising than this is the fact that scientists are actually surprise no one “noticed” this new species of frog.

Dr. Frog Scientist, have you ever been to New York City?  I once saw a man on the subway who was completely naked except for a foam pineapple costume.  No one even looked twice.  But, yeah, New Yorkers are definitely going to notice a fucking frog that looks exactly like another fucking frog.

In New York, what do you call something that looks like something better, that no one notices, and really isn’t that important.

The Mets.

Come on, this isn’t a new idea. Now, if these frogs were different…say, they acted more like New Yorkers…then maybe we’d be on to something.  Maybe if they didn’t say “ribbit”.  Something more “New York”, like:

Or:

Or maybe if the frog made fun of where you’re from and made you feel bad about not being from New York.

If these new frogs don’t do those things, then they are doomed to live like other NY frogs.  Which basically involves meeting the wrong end of multiple buses.

Or God forbid one of these frogs crosses the river and meets some dipshit from Jersey.  Like this dumb ginger:

Faced with deaths like that, these frogs are better off going unnoticed in NYC.

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