Chris the Intern Answers Your Emails

Hey all!

Sorry we haven’t posted in a while. The guys weren’t too happy with the new website design. Lol, it was so funny, I was sleeping and Mr. Gallo let this undomesticated street cat from Tijuana into my bedroom. He bought it from this Korean guy that owns a discount furniture store here in town. Lulz. He really “gets it”. Anyway, the cat mauled my neck, but the doctors think I’ll make a full recovery. Ha Tijuana…I tell you. Anyway, the guys told me I’m skating on thin ice and I better not mess up again or the stuff is really gonna hit the fan. They didn’t say “stuff” though…

So here’s what’s coming up:

– BL writer Cody DiCavalcante is going to graduate from school soon! The only thing standing between him and his cap and gown is a 22 page paper on the rise of the Third Reich. Animal Mother was going to write it on the account that he met a lot of white supremacists in prison, but then he backed out because he had to appear in court. So it’s up to me! The guys drop me off at the Kansas City Public Library and then go to a Chiefs themed bar called “Chiefs”. HAHA, isn’t that stupid? They order shots called “The Poe-tential”. Craig Sean broke his nose taking one. I don’t get it sometimes.

-Animal Mother may be going back to prison. Which would honest to God be a blessing. He needs help.

-I was looking for Mr. Gallo’s golf ball (he doesn’t play, but he says I need to get my caddy skills up) and Mr. Gallo came tearing through the tree line in his golf cart. He hit me head on and knocked out my other front tooth. I also think my pelvis is broken…he won’t let me go to the hospital. Someone please help me…

All right! Now on to some emails! Mr. Gallo and Cody chose the emails, and I had to answer their selections. Let’s get to it!

From: CallMeDanglez99

Chris, why are you so gay?


Chris the Intern:

All right, we seem to be getting these types of emails a lot. I’m not gay. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Okay? I don’t get it. Is it because I don’t curse? I have a girlfriend at Tulsa (Shoutout to LIIINDSAY!) Ha.

From: McLovin89

Chris, I swear to God, ive been trying to find your home address on line, and when I do, Im going to hurt the ones you love.

Chris the Intern:

Oh my gosh…is this real?

Okay, I’m not answering any more of those! I’m not gay!

Seriously I like women. This is getting so stupid.

Seriously, either I’m getting punched in the face because I dropped a tray of martinis or my shoes are getting set on fire because I don’t do the dishes fast enough.

No, you know what. I’m focusing on the negative too much. That’s not the Chris way. My grandfather spent 2 years in Korea. That’s way worse than anything that could happen here! I’m getting some great writing experience. Unemployed people would probably kill to have this job. Even though they don’t pay me…

Supposedly, we’re having a staff retreat tomorrow night. Hopefully a good post comes out of it. I think the guys are planning on “robo-tripping” whatever that means. Ha, phew, almost got upset there!

And seriously, I’m not gay.

Peace and Blessings,

Chris the Intern



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