Much like President Obama, we here are the Barnyard Lampoon have been holding back our true opinions. But it’s time to “come out” if you will. We can’t hide it anymore. We fully support same sex monkey marriage.
It all started with a friend. He’s a monkey named Bimbo. He likes to chew on things. Bimbo likes other man monkeys. Or homosexual monkeys. Bimbo wanted to marry other monkeys, but several people (especially in North Carolina) told Bimbo that he couldn’t marry other monkeys. I’ve never seen Bimbo so upset. He has rights. Monkey rights. He says that just because he likes other man monkeys, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be able to marry that man monkey.
And I have to agree. Why CAN’T monkeys marry other monkeys? Now everyone can marry everyone. So let’s marry some monkeys! Bimbo would be so happy. It’s so sad when I see Bimbo go out with other monkeys and think about how he can’t find TRUE LOVE with other monkeys. Bimbo lives in Connecticut. He plays tennis. He eats bananas. He’s just a normal, healthy monkey. So what about him says he can’t marry other monkeys?
It’s the fucking Right. That’s who’s fucking everything up. They come in here with their “religion” trying to preserve what they believe in, but fuck them. My monkey friend LOVES other monkeys. That’s life. It’s natural. Look anywhere, and you’ll see gay monkeys.
Chris the Intern’s parents are divorced. So you’re telling me it’s okay for people to get divorced but my gay monkey friend can’t marry his monkey partner? I guarantee Bimbo could raise children better than half of the parents I know. But noooo, gay monkeys can’t adopt either.
What does a monkey have to do in this country? The joke is on us though. We’re going to look back on this time period and say, “I literally can’t believe it took that long to legalize gay monkey marriage. What was WRONG with us??” I’m looking forward to that day. I mean seriously, would you rather a monkey marry your daughter. LOL, ha! No. Gay monkey love can be a beautiful thing.
Can you really deny this?