A Video Man-Whore Speaks His Mind

By: Samwell Rockhouse

 

 

 

 

Over the past few years, I’ve been an open case of suffering through school (I finally graduated. Hell yes!), laughing it up, getting drunk,  working for a mail business and trying to get past the fact that I’m socially awkward. I’ve probably made over a thousand videos, literally, throughout college to try and make people laugh, that being either on my phone or directly from my computer. I’m not a very big fan of keeping my mouth shut and thinking quietly. I like to express whatever it is in my head, be it bullshit or some weird ghostly presence at 3 A.M. who tried ordering from Pizza Hut but got me instead or simply an angry outburst that is disguised as a Viking shout from a chauvinistic bathtub, I’ve always used the camera to export whatever is going through my brain.

I really hadn’t thought about making videos for YouTube until I started my first year of college. My stepdad had a digital camera that was able to take videos but you couldn’t stop the camera and do another shot, it was one continuous shot. Looking back, I remember watching these first few videos and cringing from the pauses and evident frustration from not being able to take a cut. They were the rough drafts of my so-called YouTube career. These were put on my first YouTube channel. I think my YouTube name was just Codah101, same as my e-mail. I remember having videos of me dancing to Lupe Fiasco’s “Superstar” when it had first come out and dressing up in a fur coat and pretending to be a pretentious rock star. After a few months, I felt like people didn’t watch them so I deleted it. I’ve done this three times. I’ve had three different YouTube accounts each with videos I wish, for my own personal pleasure, I could go back and view that have been deleted and forever put into a deep, dark mass of the Internet, swimming with the cochlear implants and drinking misused binary code. I’d love if I could bring all three of them back, but it isn’t like Facebook. Once you’ve deleted them, they’re gone forever. I’d say they were like my children but last time I did, I was interrogated by the NRA.

College was an interesting time for me. I went through a lot of stuff that I don’t care to relive. Making videos was the only thing that really helped me gain perspective of this world. By helping someone laugh, whoever it be, made me feel better about myself. I spent the entire summer of 2009 with a broken foot, making YouTube videos. I also worked but that wasn’t an important part of my summer, retrospectively. I’d do requests, talk about my broken foot, make videos high off of my pain pills, it was a good time. People who had never met me, were requesting that I make more videos, so I did. I made it an everyday thing to record something, even if it was just language that sound like I was gargling Listerine for 2 minutes, it went up. People ate that shit up! That’s why I’ll never stop. I will keep making videos, random as a night train reading scrolls to local radio stations. Whenever I make something that is odd or beyond reason, which by the way helps build strong bones, I’ll immediately put it on Facebook. These videos are for my friends, even people who aren’t my friends. I think it’s safe to say we all are “friends” with people on Facebook we don’t even hang out or communicate with but that’s okay! Hell, the best thing for this country is a feeling of unity and the internet is becoming that source for such a thing.

Recently, I’ve slowed down with my YouTube videos. I feel like they just aren’t the same. Maybe, I’ve grown up, maybe I have an implanted chip in my neck that prevents me from exercising too much hilarity, maybe I’m not eating enough fruit and vegetables, whatever it may be—something has stimulated a change in the system.  My new channel, although it seems like I have a lot of videos, it isn’t anything like my channel that I had before. My old channel had over 100 videos, each over more than a few minutes long. It was a library of impersonations and physical manifestation of liveliness of Cody DiCavalcante as he went through the higher learning that the United States of America holds so dearly to its bosom. Thinking about it, I used to get deeply emotional in a few of the older YouTube videos, I don’t miss those. Those were a mistake that never should have been broadcast. Now when I say deeply emotional, I don’t want you guys to believe I was using tissues by the pound and cleaning my face from globs of tears that make Arizona flash floods look like spa treatments but I did enter extremely low valleys of depression. I’d upload these emotional biohazards onto the internet only to bring the person watching it, down with me. That was a bottomless plate of feelings cooked on low heat.

Now that I am on the verge of becoming a 24 year old American young man, I’ve had to throw a lot of my baggage off my wagon. I’ve had to become more mature, responsible, and respectful, with that I’ve had a wagon leak and all my humor has been draining into a reservoir on the side of the road. This whole growing up thing sucks. I mean, don’t get me wrong, having the right to drink and go to R-rated movies by myself is a cool thing but everyone looks at you a certain way. They expect you to be upright and not make wisecracks. Paying bills is bullshit. Who likes paying bills? I’d rather spend that money on a witch who is ready to marry, or making ice cubes out of cryogenically frozen bugs. I think I’m a little late on the whole growing up thing but it doesn’t mean I have less of a right to complain over the ass pain I get from all the annoying things it entails. I guess while I’m doing this ball-breaking, stress-creating, respect-overkill growth, I might as well keep doing the one thing that helps me stay sane and that’s make YouTube videos. Adios mi amigos, adios (clap clap).

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