Earlier today, Melky Cabrera (or the Melkman, to some) was busted for using performance enhancing drugs, or PEDs. PEDs seem to be coming up in sports-related conversations a lot lately. In fact, I’ve compiled a list of all the PEDs from the past few months.
1. PED User
Melky tested positive for testosterone and FINALLY gave Royals fans something to cheer about. How’s Sanchez look now? Am I right?
2. Disgraced PEDestrian
This is race walker Alex Schwazer. He needed to take performance enhancing drugs so that he could walk faster than other walkers. Try to figure that one out. Is a doping race walker the same thing as slow runner?
We all know this story, it’s a tale as old as time. Don’t believe me? Look up what Socrates did in his free time while he wasn’t philosophizing. Except Greece had less sanctions levied against them than Penn State. Well actually, maybe Greece is paying for it now…or rather, unable to pay for things. Zing, Greek economy joke? Check.
4. Athlete on a moPED
Athletes on mopeds are hilarious. Seriously, check this out:
Yeah, and he gets up.
But anyway, PEDs are everywhere.