Putting the X in X Games

A Post By: Craig Sean

When Austin, Texas decided to host their first ever X Games this past weekend, I decided I would have to hit it up. I’ll admit, I knew very little about this event before attending. In honor of the recent passing of Alexander Shulgin (the father of MDMA), I figured the best way to pay my respects would be to take X at the X Games, thinking they somehow had to be related. Little did I know, they would be strange enough without psychotropic club drugs. In fact, the two have absolutely nothing to do with each other. And with the heat, MDMA probably would have killed me.

Here are 10 notes from the games:

10. Beer was $9.50.

9. water was $4.50.

Drinking-Your-Own-Pee
X Games on a budget.

8. Getting dehydrated until you hallucinate was completely free.

7. Thinking you just saw a meteor hit a guy in the nose before realizing you’re hallucinating then coming to, and seeing blood gush from between the guy’s eyes because he was just hit in the face with a flying skate board is a sobering moment.

6. Watching people collapse from heat exhaustion is only entertaining until you come to the realization that you might be next.

5. Staring at the sun for an extended period of time to watch a guy skate down a 65ft ramp at 40mph, jumping a 50ft gap, then flying 20ft above the lip of a quarter pipe on a skateboard is good in the short term, but will probably cost me my eyesight later in life.

Big-Air

Now that I think about this again, it was worth it… this ramp should have a 50% kill rate, but somehow no one died.

4. A 14 year old won the big air competition… This left me rather confused.

little-kid
Note: braces.

3. I’m not a violent person, but being told you cannot see the music headliner for the day because they cannot let any more people in due to the capacity crowd, when you can see the amphitheater is only peppered with people, makes me want to throat punch EVERYONE.

Crowd
Note: empty seats.

2. spending a 14 hour day watching extreme sports and only seeing blood come out of a spectator and a small collection of minor falls is a significant disappointment. Note to the X Games: if you’re selling the event as extreme sports, you should ensure not all the athletes walk away unharmed.

1. I had fun, but next year will be better when I take on the X Games and X at the same time.

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