A List of Things to Do While Grocery Shopping

A Post By: Cody DiCavalcante
1) Retaliate
2)Fantasize about ocean demographics
3)Start Model UN in an aisle that is at or below 32 degrees
4)Go up to the managers office and ask if you can see “The Thorny Dreidel”
5)Answer someone else’s thought
6)Headbutt ripened fruit
7)Give a gerbil a home in the cuff of a blood pressure machine
8) Try to stop the conveyor belt with your fist
9) Convince yourself you are a baby
10) Cry then stop before your brain alerts your lachrymal glands
11) Irritate the dairy section
12) Resist arrest
13) Participate in an on-line survey that makes incessant dubstep go off in the Vatican
14) Roll away very violently when someone sprays air fresheners in the store
15) Act conventional
16) Try and hug someone while waiting in line
17)Play hide and go seek with someones eyewear then hide them under all the cabbage
18) Attach night vision goggles to their security cameras then yell “You’re welcome!”
19)Lock the front door of the store until you see 50 people then open them back up
20)Tape mouse traps to all the loadable gift cards
21) Have a flashback of the Spanish Inquisition somehow
22) Evolve
23) Make a swiss-movement watch with steak
24) Shoplift a shoplifter
25) Borrow money from your dad

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