Cheap Gas Shaming

Lot’s of economists want you to feel awful that crude oil is so inexpensive.

“Yeah sure, you’re paying 2004 prices for gasoline right now, but what do you think is happening in Russia?”

Beats the hell out of me, I’m just pumped that I can drive around places without needing an advanced payday loan. Today’s society is obsessed with implications. Today’s society is also obsessed with determining what society is obsessed with (see: Serial, and the subsequent analyzing). But implications have to be the hottest new obsession.

“Oh you like almond milk? Well let me tell you why you’re a jackhole for drinking it.”

“Netflix’s Original Series are cool…but the energy from their servers are causing massive erosion of the ozone, and it’s LITERALLY melting Polynesian Islands!”

People are quick to prove why the things you enjoy and consume are worse than the things they enjoy and consume. This is because of how good people feel when they partake in an activity called “shaming”. Back in the day, shaming was reserved for weirdos, and pamphlet-wielding hippies that shamed you for owning pets. They would harass you on your way into Chiptole, and force you to take their literature.

"Thanks for the pamphlet."
“Thanks for the pamphlet.”

Then you’d read the pamphlet in line and you’d see a picture of a dog with a nail through its head. But with the rise of the hipster and casual internet activists, shaming is the sport of the people.

And so when gas dipped to as low as $1.70 in some places, economists, environmentalists, bloggers, and just about everyone else made sure to quickly shit on your parade by telling you why you were a gluttonous moron for enjoying cheap gas.

“This is going to have a dire impact on the Middle East!”

“This could crash the economy!”

But guess what? Those things are going to happen anyway! If this doesn’t crash the economy, then greedy bankers will. And I can assure you that no matter what I do, the Middle East is still going to be a place where peace goes to die. So just let me enjoy cheap gas. And while I’m enjoying that cheap gas, let’s let people enjoy things. I’m not suggesting moral relativism, but just let people enjoy red meat.

The world would be a better place if everyone just relaxed a little.


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