A Post By: Michael Gallo
A 12-year-old kid named Weston Imer is running Donald Trump’s presidential campaign office in Colorado before he heads back to school, and focuses on other things like homework, girls, and whether or not his new bike is going to have pegs on it. The office is in a key Colorado county, and includes part of the Denver metro area, but that doesn’t appear to matter much to Trump. And while Trump had nothing to do with appointing Imer, he could certainly put an end to the charade, though that doesn’t seem likely as Trump likes his charades.
Imer’s mother, Laurel Imer, runs the office on paper, but running a presidential campaign office “on paper”, is like paying your taxes “on paper”. In fact, anything with the descriptor “on paper,” usually just means it’s either not happening, or not true. For instance: tying rockets to the side of a shopping cart so you can get from one side of the Walmart to the other more quickly, is a good idea on paper. But when your rocket-powered shopping cart levels an old woman and three kids before exploding in the canned food aisle, sending shrapnel everywhere, you’ll realize it wasn’t a good idea at all. Laurel Imer is probably just getting wine drunk by the pool until school starts back up, living out the fantasy of about 90% of all mothers.
One would think Hillary Clinton would jump on this opportunity to crush Trump, but she’s supposedly given up on Colorado to put donor money into more important states. So just take a moment and realize that Clinton abandoned Colorado a long time ago, but by nature of not having a 12-year-old running one of her campaign offices in a key state, she’ll probably still win Colorado. So yeah, maybe Clinton “gave up”, but Trump just took “giving up” to new heights. This is easily anywhere from three to four steps past giving up.
Incredibly, this is one of the more sane pieces of news to come out about the Trump campaign this month, and I’m sure he’ll take this over another news station mentioning the statues made in his likeness and sporting shrunken genitalia.
You might be wondering why Imer is wasting the last month of his summer vacation working for a candidate who’s gonna get creamed in the election this November, but confused kids supporting a maniacal and tyrannical despot is nothing new, with the Hitler Youth being history’s most notable example.
If you would like to speak with Weston Imer’s office, please call before 9 p.m. as that’s his weekday bed time.