This past weekend, a Disney Junior animated show called Doc McStuffins featured two doll moms who are separated from their children after a toy dragon causes an earthquake. You’ll be comforted to know that the protagonist, Doc McStuffins, helps reunite the family and also teaches the value of having a backup plan in the event of an emergency, an important lesson on the potential eve of a nuclear event. Doc McStuffins serves as a sort of toy doctor that fixes toys with the help of other toys that act as nurses (probably paid less than Doc McStuffins), seemingly without any formal medical training, licenses, or permits.
But unfortunately, some people are less progressive than others and were offended by a children’s show featuring a lesbian mom family, and suggested that the discussion of delicate subjects like this are better left to parents when the children are a bit older. I was less offended by the two-mom family and more offended by the obvious inclusion of dragons to capitalize on a Game-of-Thrones-induced pro-dragon hysteria, and the disturbing lack of regulations in regards to medically operating on toys.
And seriously, why not include a two-mom family? They exist in real life, and while conservative groups are saying Disney Junior is pushing an agenda, I wholeheartedly disagree. I’ve long been saying kids remain innocent for too long, and should become aware of life’s harder-hitting subjects at an early age. Which is why I think Doc McStuffins would benefit from including the following story lines into new episodes:
Doc McStuffins Helps G.I. Joe Get Over Combat Trauma
Suffering from horrific flashbacks, and an inability to adapt to civilian life, G.I. Joe is brought in by friends and family for Doc McStuffins to look at. The Episode will serve as a profitable crossover between Disney and Hasbro and will also serve to teach kids about the horrors of combat. Through streams of tears, G.I. Joe will go into graphic detail about the deaths of his friends and what it was like raiding obscure towns throughout Iraq and Afghanistan, the deaths of innocent civilians slowly becoming a game as his humanity fades away and is replaced with a ruthless killer instinct. His crippling fear of IEDs and suicide bombers will teach kids not to take things for granted, and highlight how good they have it here in the U.S. of A. “War is Hell.” – William Tecumseh Sherman
Doc McStuffins helps Buzz Lightyear With Gender Reassignment Surgery
After Buzz Lightyear discovers he is a woman born in a man’s body, he seeks out Doc McStuffins to perform his/her gender reassignment surgery after trying and failing to have the procedure performed at Johns Hopkins Medical Center. This episode will dive DEEP into the complex issues surrounding gender identity, transgender communities, and the tricky medical ethics of gender reassignment surgeries, but will be oversimplified for this 22-minute episode that will help kids navigate the fun and exciting world of gender, sex, and identity.
Doc McStuffins Tackles the Opioid Crisis
Ted E. Bear is a New England fishing boat captain with a NASTY opioid problem. After his Care Bear wife takes the kids and leaves him, he falls deeper into a cycle of using before he eventually gets kicked off his own boat and spirals out of control. Doc McStuffins will help him get clean with a controversial regimen of methadone injections and electroconvulsive therapy. Will Doc McStuffins succeed where so many other rehab centers have failed? Will children be satisfied with this hard-hitting episode that takes them throughout a Northeast America crippled by opioid dependence and consumption?
Doc McStuffins Welcomes Syrian Doll Refugees
When a raft of Syrian doll refugees capsizes in the Mediterranean, Doc McStuffins will offer her medical services to those that survive. But how will children handle the fact that most governments won’t willingly let most of these dolls into their countries? The refugee crisis will actually be a subplot as Doc McStuffins learns about the complicated vacuum created by the US presence in the Middle East. As a direct result of the rise of ISIS, Doc McStuffins will discover the refugee dolls are just a byproduct of a much larger problem, a problem that will be forced down the throats of children because this is real life.
Honestly, kids need to grow the hell up, and these Doc McStuffins episodes will help expedite the process.